What Helps Us Sleep

Sleep came up early, the way it often does. When the days take so much of us, what we do with the nights matters.

Two threads ran through the conversation. One was about gummies. The other was about apps. The group held both with curiosity, not judgment.

On Gummies

Several people in the group use gummies, especially for sleep. Several do not. Either way, an honest caution surfaced that felt worth writing down.

Not all gummies are made the same way, and not all of them are watched over by anyone. The category covers a lot of ground. Some products are well regulated and tested. Others are not certified, not consistent from batch to batch, and not always labeled accurately about what is in them. The dose on the package and the dose in the gummy can be two different things.

For some of us, this was familiar information. For at least one of us, it was new, and felt both helpful and a little alarming. Both reactions are reasonable. The honest answer is that this is an uneven marketplace, and a caregiver who is already running short on sleep does not need a surprise from the thing they reached for to help.

A few things some caregivers find useful when navigating this:

• Look for products that have been independently tested, with a certificate of analysis available from the company. The certificate is usually online, sometimes via a QR code on the package.
• Ask the pharmacist or doctor handling your loved one’s medications whether anything you are considering for yourself might interact with what they take, especially if you sometimes share a kitchen counter, a pill organizer, or a foggy moment.
• Start lower than the package suggests, especially with anything new. Edibles in particular can land later and harder than expected.
• Notice the next day, not just the night. Some sleep aids leave a residue in the morning that affects how clearly we can do the rest of the work.

None of this is a recommendation for or against using them. Caregivers have to make their own calls about what they put in their bodies in order to get through. The group’s only quiet ask was: know what you are taking, and where it came from.

On Apps for Sleep and Calm

Several apps came up as ways people are getting their heads quiet enough to sleep, or quiet enough to function:

• Calm. Often used for sleep stories, breathing exercises, and short meditations.
• Down Dog. Originally a yoga app. Several members appreciate its flexibility (you can choose length, pace, focus, and voice) which makes it easier to use on a tired day.
• Insight Timer. A library of free meditations, talks, and music, with everything from a five minute body scan to longer guided sessions.

What several of us noticed is that the apps tend to do more than one thing. The same app that helps with falling asleep also has a short meditation for the parking lot, a talk for the drive home, or a guided breath for the kind of afternoon where the monkey mind takes over.

A few small notes from the conversation that might be useful if you are considering an app, or trying to get more out of one you already have:

• Pick a voice you can stand. The same content delivered by a voice that grates on you will not help. Most of these apps let you choose.
• Use it before the hard moment, not only in it. Most of these tools work better when the body already knows the path. A five minute session on a calm afternoon teaches the nervous system what to do when there is less time and more pressure.
• Free tiers go a long way. Several of these apps offer enough on the free plan to be genuinely useful before you decide whether to pay.
• Headphones change the experience. For caregivers whose nights are shared with someone who is restless, light, or up at odd hours, a pair of comfortable headphones can make the difference between using the tool and never opening it.

None of these apps is the right one. The right one is the one you will actually open at eleven at night when your brain is loud. If you have found something that works for you, the group would love to hear it.

Resources

• Calm. Sleep stories, meditations, and breathing.
• Down Dog. Customizable yoga, meditation, and breath sessions.
• Insight Timer. Free library of meditations and talks.